I can't wait to get married! So many benefits await me: Tax deductions, cool in-laws (Melina is unaware of this post and did not make me say that), and locking up someone who can pack my suitcase, do my laundry, and tell me how to coordinate my hats. Melina is kind of like Joe Mauer, except with shorter sideburns (haha, just kidding), and I'm kind of like the Minnesota Twins. I'm locking up the future of my life to a long term contract. She will be expensive, but hopefully not $180 million expensive. I need to ditch the baseball analogy before it gets creepy.
Anyways, the real reason I am writing this post is to highlight the number 1 reason why I am so excited to be getting married in just over two months from now. I will never have to write, say, think, or google "fiancee" or "fiance" with any frequency ever again. Over the past 9 or so months of being engaged, I have come to despise the word for its awkwardness. It's awkward to spell. It's awkward to type as I haven't had to type accents since freshman spanish. It's awkward to say. And I am sick of googling it to figure out which spelling I should use for me and which I use for my beautiful bride to-be. I have probably been to the fiance wikipedia page two dozen times since the engagement, and I look forward to never going back.
I think the PC revolution that turned "waitress" into "server" and "stewardess" into "flight attendant" needs to solve this crisis immediately. And from there, I will take suggestions.
*Legal disclaimer: The real number 1 reason I am excited to get married is because I love my future wife (see what I did there?) and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her.
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